Alice in Austin

My arrival at UT has functioned as somewhat of a rebirth to me. Whether this is an authentic emotion or partially influenced by Bump’s constant references to a feeling of rebirth, this has still been something bery important to me. College is an opportunity to redefine yourself and shut the doors on the skeletons in your closet. In some ways, I am able to view myself as a child ready to grow up once again. I could probably even tie this perception to a few influential religious beliefs that I have encountered in my life. Having been raised Lutheran, I subscribed to the belief that you are reborn everyday for your sins. Rather than being forced to be perpetually stigmatized for your decisions, I am able to repent and take my life in a new direction. Despite having liked this principle of the religion, I still eventually grew to have many disagreements. It was at this time that I was exposed to many continental philosophers who pointed to new paths in ethics that are not inspired by one sole religious belief. But nevertheless, I believe that as my extremely ethical views progress I will always have the ability to ‘reset’ and begin my life anew.

thoughts floating in my brain

In this same token, college provides a unique opportunity to do this. While this type of rebirth may be positive, it sometimes feels like there is a dark underside to my existence. This is somewhat reminiscent of Alice, who at her core there “also lies a tale of angst and the darker aspects of the story have often been commented on” (198). Even Professor of English at Ryukoku University John Dougill notes that “in the progress for Wonderland the young rectory boy/girl exhibits all of the culture shocks of a freshman transposed from home and dropped into college life.” (199). Because of this, I have always found it fascinating that Lewis Carroll strives for portraying the innocence of childhood while also incorporating darker elements into the story. It’s almost as if he’s trying to emphasize that no pure birth can ever occur. As a result, I can’t help but be wary about my experiences that I will face.

rebirth