Alice in Austin

My arrival at UT has functioned as somewhat of a rebirth to me. Whether this is an authentic emotion or partially influenced by Bump’s constant references to a feeling of rebirth, this has still been something bery important to me. College is an opportunity to redefine yourself and shut the doors on the skeletons in your closet. In some ways, I am able to view myself as a child ready to grow up once again. I could probably even tie this perception to a few influential religious beliefs that I have encountered in my life. Having been raised Lutheran, I subscribed to the belief that you are reborn everyday for your sins. Rather than being forced to be perpetually stigmatized for your decisions, I am able to repent and take my life in a new direction. Despite having liked this principle of the religion, I still eventually grew to have many disagreements. It was at this time that I was exposed to many continental philosophers who pointed to new paths in ethics that are not inspired by one sole religious belief. But nevertheless, I believe that as my extremely ethical views progress I will always have the ability to ‘reset’ and begin my life anew.

thoughts floating in my brain

In this same token, college provides a unique opportunity to do this. While this type of rebirth may be positive, it sometimes feels like there is a dark underside to my existence. This is somewhat reminiscent of Alice, who at her core there “also lies a tale of angst and the darker aspects of the story have often been commented on” (198). Even Professor of English at Ryukoku University John Dougill notes that “in the progress for Wonderland the young rectory boy/girl exhibits all of the culture shocks of a freshman transposed from home and dropped into college life.” (199). Because of this, I have always found it fascinating that Lewis Carroll strives for portraying the innocence of childhood while also incorporating darker elements into the story. It’s almost as if he’s trying to emphasize that no pure birth can ever occur. As a result, I can’t help but be wary about my experiences that I will face.

rebirth

The Praying Mantis: Power in Patience

Carl Fitz
World Lit – Bump
September 20, 2010

The Praying Mantis: Power in Patience

    In an ancient Egyptian passage hailing the mystical powers of the praying mantis, the author addresses the mantis, “Stable art thou, O mighty god, for even, Make thou for me a path upon which I may pursue my course” (Prete and Wolfe 97). The praying mantis has existed as a totem animal for cultures throughout the history of humanity, including ancient Egyptian, Chinese, and Indian societies. Although their depictions of the praying mantis sometimes vary, prevalent themes of the animal’s power include its patience and wisdom. As I have meditated about my relationship with the praying mantis in recent weeks, I have found that both of the aforementioned traits have played and continue to play integral roles in my life. Channeling the energy of the praying mantis allows me to unlock patience, wisdom, and power in my life.

    The praying mantis has held meaning for many humans over the course of history. One understanding of the praying mantis that I have found particularly compelling is the Kalahari Bushmens’ conception of the praying mantis. Animal educator Ted Andrews writes in his 1993 book Animal-Speak that “to the Kalihari Bushmen of Africa, Mantis was a Bushmen,” and “whenever Mantis got himself into trouble, he would go off and hide. He would then go to sleep and dream a solution to his problem” (Andrews 343). Although the praying mantis is physically smaller than humans, the Kalahari Bushmen still found them to be powerful in their own unique manner. This power was considered significant enough for groups of Bushmen to personally identify with the animal. The praying mantis offered the Kalahari Bushmen a specific roadmap for how to confront their problems. Rather than rush into action, it was believed that meditation and reflection allowed better solutions to problems to reveal themselves. This seems to imply that the power of thought can at times be more powerful than brute force. Such a conclusion is intimately related to the mantis’s being, considering the very word mantis is derived from a Greek word meaning prophet (Andrews 343). Upon the arrival of this conclusion, makes sense that many Kalahari Bushmen personally identified with the praying mantis despite its tiny stature. Rather than being oriented towards the stature of the animal, the Bushmen observed the mantis’s behavior and became more powerful because of it.

    The Kalahari Bushmen also admired the silence of the praying mantis. I found this particularly striking considering I generally associate the ability to speak one’s mind with empowerment. Only though communication and persuasion does one have the ability to affect their surroundings. However, the Bushmen seem to use the praying mantis to provide a competing counter-narrative to this claim. In their view, the “ancient mystics spoke of seven levels of silence that can be used by us, the first being simple contemplation and the last being death. In between them are dimensions that can add tremendous power to our life. This is part of what the praying mantis teaches. It teaches how to still the outer, so that when it is time to act (in any form) it is done with surety, accuracy, and great power” (Andrews 343). For the Bushmen, empowerment comes through patience instead of action. While action is by no mean forbidden, it is to be taken with great consideration. By doing so, the infrequent actions taken are inspired by wisdom and confidence rather than folly. Silence is thereby conducive to informed actions. While speaking may be empowering, perhaps it is only through silence that the utterances of words can derive importance. The Bushmen’s counter-narrative about the praying mantis seems to convey the importance of patience in one’s life. This patience even functions to sustain the praying mantis’s existence. Observations of the praying mantis’s eating practices reveal that the mantis will “wait motionless, blending into its surroundings, then at the most opportune time, it will suddenly grasp its prey in its long forelegs which fold over its victim like closing a jackknife upon it” (344). For the praying mantis, patience is not merely a conscious choice. Rather, the mantis is physically designed to sustain itself through patience. While its long forelegs might not be the fastest method used to kill its prey, it is extremely effective when combined with the mantis’s camouflage and the element of surprise. In order to exist, the praying mantis must constantly exert patience even in its most starved state. Clearly the praying mantis can be read as exemplifying the value of patience.

    While the Kalahari Bushmen understand the praying mantis as a largely tranquil animal, this is vastly different from the praying mantis depicted in ancient Chinese culture. In ancient China, the praying mantis represented “strength, courage, and boldness” (Prete and Wolfe 95). An ancient Chinese folktale even states that the praying mantis was crushed by the weight of a bullock cart despite having no chance to stop the runaway cart (95). In this folktale, the praying mantis is portrayed as being so confident of his or her strength that he or she is killed as a result. Needless to say, this is in stark contrast with the Kalahari Bushmen’s praying mantis. This information could prove to be extremely problematic for any individual seeking to learn from the praying mantis as a totem animal. The advancing of seemingly contradictory views of the praying mantis could lead one to conclude that one society must simply be mistaken. However, further meditation and personal inquiry has led me to resolve this conundrum differently. The rest of this paper will be devoted to my attempt to explore the praying mantis’s power in response to this complication.
    I have found the multiplicity of perspectives on the praying mantis to make the insect an even more appealing totem animal that previously thought. This is primarily because I can personally relate to having conflicting priorities about one’s internal growth. Both of my parents were raised as traditional Lutherans who were soft-spoken and polite. The most lucid example of this that comes to mind is my uncle’s observation about my father that he doesn’t talk much, but when he does he has something important to say. While they obviously never look down upon people who talk freely, they simply personally choose to live their life a certain way. As a result, I was inclined to behave this way at a young age. This trajectory took a distinctly different course upon my joining of speech and debate. At its very core, the activity moralizes verbal expression to a dizzying degree. Bringing me out of my shell, I became comfortable speaking my mind regardless of whether or not they might offend those around me. Sensitive to injustice in my surroundings, I found myself picking fights with teachers and administrators on a regular basis. After all, nothing wreaks of fascism more than a public high school. Although this sense of empowerment is ultimately a good thing, it can still result in a feeling of alienation at times. Perceived docility of those around me and increased hostility towards my parents caused me to feel uprooted from social interactions that I was previous grounded in. This internal conflict is extremely analogical to the conflict previously articulated about different social understandings of the praying mantis. While the praying mantis is at times depicted as being courageous and boastful, it is also understood as being a wise and patient creature. This type of thinking is also not out of line with traditional understandings of totemism. Even Ted Andrews argues that the spirit may be “of a being who uses the animal image to communicate messages of the world to humans” (Andrews 10). These similarities have led me to resolve to look to the praying mantis for solutions to these problems.
    Ultimately garnering the power of the praying mantis allows me to strike a balance between these conflicting influences upon my life. My admiration for the radical and unapologetic politics depicted in debate is just as strong as my admiration for my father as the wisest figure that I have met in my life. Coping with the development of subjectivities through a multiplicity of forces is hardly unique to me. Every individual is forced to find their place in response to a constant proliferation of contradictory world views and opinions. It is only through the power of the praying mantis that I understand that strength is important but dangerous. While the boastful mantis is crushed by a runaway cart, the cautiously powerful mantis successfully strikes its prey to live another day. While the overly timid mantis never catches its prey, the reflective mantis’s actions are influenced by its wisdom. By attempting to understand this power of balance and wisdom, I have been able to meditate on my own search for a balance between the influences of debate and of my parents.
    Clearly the praying mantis seems to be a fitting totem animal for my life. Not only does my attempt to seek the power of the praying mantis allow me to feel more connected with the energy of the animal itself, but it also opens up a new world of exploration into various cultures, political beliefs, and even teachings of my parents. As my life progresses, it is unclear what the praying mantis will teach me and whether or not I will eventually be chosen by another animal. Nevertheless, all signs seem to point to the relevancy of the praying mantis in my present life. I am only left to await the lessons that the praying mantis will teach as the year progresses.

Works Cited

Andrews, Ted. Animal Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small (2009): 10, 342-3.

Frederick Prete and Melissa Wolfe. “Religious supplicant, seductive cannibal, or reflex machine?     In search of the praying mantis”. Journal of the History of Biology. 1992: 95-7.

suicidal thoughts

 "I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes?/Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies" - Notorious B.I.G. ("Suicidal Thoughts")

Reports about suicide prevention will always have a very personal impact upon me. Two years ago, a close friend of mine committed suicide after battling drug and psychological problems for several months. Rather than being abstract studies about suicide, the reports in the anthology about suicide are automatically contextualized in my mind with this incident. Rather than being a spontaneous act of violence, I learned firsthand that “the vast majority of suicidal people communicate their intention to kill themselves by showing warning signs” (154). In my incident, the victim even explicitly told others about his intention to commit suicide. However, sufficient actions were not taken to prevent the tragedy.

Until recently, I felt relatively alone about my experience. While everyone else in my graduating class certainly understands my experience firsthand, it has been easy for me to think that others that I have subsequently encountered in recent years have not faced similar tragedies. However, the discussion that I had with Professor Bump and many of my classmates at dinner before the Plan II convocation altered this perception. Many of us discussed people that we had known that either committed suicide or seriously considered it. It seems that the problems of depression and suicide are stigmatized, with blame being displaced upon the victim. Although depression can sometimes be the result of one’s choices, uncontrollable psychological elements and other external tragedies are also frequently to blame. The voices of those suffering are pushed to the periphery, and I’m left to wonder how many suicides could be prevented if everyone was able to have as candid of a discussion about the topic as occurred at dinner that evening.

although this poster was originally used for HIV/AIDS, these campaigns should expand to psychological disorders, as well

On a lighter note, I found the parable of the South Indian Monkey Trap to be quite engaging and persuasive. Using a hollowed-out coconut, villagers placed “rice inside which can be seen through a small hole” that is “just big enough so that the monkey can put his hand in, but too small for his fist to come out after he has grabbed the rice” (167). Most fascinating about this parable is that it seems to suggest that ambition is an extremely common trait in biological entities. Not merely relegated to humans, this trap proves that monkeys can be just as overly ambitious as humans tend to be. Although this trait isn’t inherently bad, the preceding analysis presented in blog posts indicates that it’s extremely dangerous. Such ambition could be a source of anxiety and depression.

lol monkeys

longhorn images

longhorn slaughterhouse

mustangs on farm

The Longhorns/Mustangs

“The Longhorns” offers a unique narrative that depicts the longhorn as being emancipated from human-created institutions. When the longhorns lived in their natural habitat, “they knew not their masters and would not be led to the slaughter block” (113). Moreover, they “followed the law of the wild, the stark give-me-liberty-or-give-me-death law against tyranny” (113). Most fascinating about this passage is the author’s usage of anthropocentric analogies in order to describe the freedom achieved by animals living in the wild. Rather than being associated with the notion of freedom advocated in liberal democracy (perhaps with a Gandhi or MLK reference), the freedom of the longhorn is associated with political radicalism.

Moreover, another fascinating distinction created by the passage is the agent of resistance against power structures. Diverging from the attempts by PETA and the ALF to protect animals, the author instead describes the longhorns’ freedom from the State and the slaughterhouse as being an autonomous choice made by the animal. No longer dependent on humans to sustain a livelihood, this narrative offers a radical vision of the longhorns’ existence in nature as being analogous to a revolutionary political act. By turning the question of agency on its head, humans are therefore able to notice traits within animals that could reconfigure their own personal convictions and behavior.

One problem that I had with reading all of the assigned pieces, however, was relating to the cultural references. Although I’ve lived in the south the entirety of my life, it has always been within a suburban setting. Cultural narratives about longhorns and mustangs seem like a distant memory from my standpoint. Although Sadie already discussed the statement in “The Mustangs” that “a thing of beauty will never pass into nothingness,” I would like to focus more on the preceding context of that statement. The author draws this conclusion after remembering, “though only through report, the seas of pristine grass that my forefathers rode out upon while the flowing vitality and grace of wild horses were still inherent properties of the earth” (xvi). Dobie’s notion of a memory is initially problematic. How can one remember an event that he or she didn’t directly experience?

Dobie searches through his ancestry to develop a connection with his place of dwelling. I can actually relate to this concept, considering many of my ancestors were farmers in southern America. My blood bond with the soil is formulated through my blood ties rather than my own personal blood and sweat. The faceless figures of my heritage that literally constitute my existence (in a genetic sense) existed only insofar as the environment allowed them to. Facing the Dust Bowl in rural Oklahoma must have epitomized such a chaotic relationship with the environment. By acknowledging that the precarity of my own existence as invested in my ancestors’ (for if they had died, would I be?), I can begin to formulate my own relationship with such inherent properties of the earth and affirm that my very existence prolongs this beauty.

"The Windhover" Part 2

I made this post on the FB group, but just wanted to put it here as well:

I wanted to post again to draw distinctions between the depiction of animals in “The Windhover” and in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. After Alice encounters a clan of animals early in the book, Alice mentions how her pet could eat all of the animals present. In response, “some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, “I really must be getting home: the night-air doesn’t suit my throat!” and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to its children, “Come away, my dears! It’s high time you were all in bed!” On various pretexts they all moved off” (Carroll 53). Clearly the birds are portrayed as cowardly and comical, which is vastly different from the “daylight’s dauphin” featured in the Hopkins poem. The majesty associated with the falcon in “The Windhover” (as described in my previous post regarding Christ) shows an entirely different depiction of animals.

"The Windhover" by Gerard Hopkins

Although Allison argued that Hopkins’s use of the word “down” at the beginning of the last stanza describes the direction of the bird’s flight, I think it’s useful to consider a different interpretation of the word. Professor English at Franklin Pierce College Nathan Cervo argued that “down” in this context could refer to the soft fluffy feathers that exist “under the ordinary feathers of adult birds” (Cervo 1978, 80). Such a distinction is obviously not mere semantics. Rather, this enhances the meaning of the phrase “makes plough down sillion” because it lends itself to imagery depicting the bird’s feathers being ruffled as it ploughs through the wind. The bird’s mature outward feathers are pushed aside as the “big wind” rebuffs to reveal the soft feathers that covered the bird as a child, further complicating the depiction of the bird.

I like Erik’s deployment of the Christ analogy, and I think that the analogy can be developed further. William Quinn of the University of Arkansas notes the equestrian connotations of line 4 (Quinn 1983, 8-19). The speaker observes “how he run upon the rein of a wimpling wind.” This seems to be a reference to the famed story of Christ entering Jerusalem upon a donkey on Palm Sunday. Such an interpretation also provides further meaning to words such as “chevalier,” which in this context means a knight. I personally agree that “The Windhover” contains a significant amount of Christ metaphors that contribute to the overall meaning of the poem.

Works Cited

Cervo, Nathan. “A Reading of “Plough Down Sillion Shine”.” The Hopkins Quarterly V (1978): 80.

Quinn, William. “The Crux of “The Windhover”.” The Hopkins Quarterly X (1983: 8-19.